Things Woman Should Know Before Getting Married
Marriage is a significant milestone that profoundly intertwines your life with another person. As romantic as it can be, it also requires emotional readiness, practical understanding, and a clear perspective on what marriage entails. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or considering it in the future, some valuable insights can make your journey smoother and more fulfilling.
Here are key things every woman should know before tying the knot.
Marriage Is a Partnership, Not a Fairytale
It’s easy to be swept away by romanticized ideas of marriage in movies and books, but a real marriage is a partnership built on mutual effort and respect. You and your partner will need to work together to address conflicts, make decisions, and compromise on things big and small. Understand that marriage requires daily effort, and it’s important to acknowledge that problems like family issues, couple conflicts, and disagreements are part of any relationship. These challenges can often lead to emotional strain, so setting realistic expectations is crucial in avoiding unnecessary disappointment.
Communication Is Key
The cornerstone of a strong marriage lies in open, honest, and respectful communication. Misunderstandings and arguments are inevitable, but how you handle them is crucial. Practice expressing your feelings, listening to your partner, and understanding their perspectives. Healthy communication includes talking openly about finances, family problems, career goals, and other life decisions. Maintaining open channels of communication guarantees that each partner feels appreciated, acknowledged, and understood. Remember that not being able to openly communicate can lead to emotional loneliness and even emotional abuse over time.
Know Your Financial Situation
Money can be a major source of tension in a marriage, so it’s essential to have a clear understanding of your and your partner's financial habits, responsibilities, and goals. Discuss how you’ll handle joint expenses, debts, savings, and investments. Will you have a joint bank account or manage your finances separately? Discussing finances openly prevents future misunderstandings and sets a strong foundation for a financially healthy marriage. This is also important for avoiding issues such as dependence or financial stress, which can impact both the emotional and physical aspects of your relationship.
Define Your Career Goals
Marriage is a life-changing step, but it shouldn’t mean sacrificing your ambitions and goals. Talk to your partner about your career aspirations and how they fit into your married life. It’s essential to choose a partner who supports your dreams, respects your professional aspirations, and is willing to help you achieve them. Planning your career goals with your partner’s support can strengthen your relationship, as both partners are encouraged to pursue personal growth. However, some women face challenges balancing career and personal life, and at times, sexual dysfunction can occur due to work-related stress or lack of intimacy.
Family Expectations and Boundaries
Marriage often brings families together, which can lead to beautiful bonds and, at times, complicated dynamics. Every family holds unique traditions, values, and expectations. Before marriage, have an open conversation about your relationship with each other's families and discuss boundaries that work for both of you. Setting clear boundaries can help maintain a healthy relationship with extended family members while keeping your marriage prioritized. Without these boundaries, couples often encounter family problems that can escalate into deeper conflicts.
Your Needs and Happiness Matter
In the excitement of wedding planning and the early days of marriage, it’s easy to overlook your personal needs and happiness. Remember that self-care is essential for a fulfilling marriage. Take time to pursue your interests, hobbies, and friendships. A supportive partner will encourage you to maintain your identity, giving you both the space to grow individually while nurturing your relationship together. Focusing on your well-being can prevent loneliness and dissatisfaction, which can lead to issues such as emotional abuse or even a breakup if neglected for too long.
Learn to Compromise, But Don’t Lose Yourself
Marriage is about balance and give-and-take. There will be situations where both of you need to make compromises for the sake of your relationship. Knowing your non-negotiables is essential to maintain a sense of self in the relationship. Discuss these values with your partner to ensure they respect and support the things that are important to you. Sometimes, failing to compromise or respect each other’s boundaries leads to couple conflicts or even cheating and infidelity.
Discuss Children and Parenting Styles
Whether you want children or not is a significant conversation that must take place before marriage. If you both want children, discuss your expectations about parenting styles, education, discipline, and religious or cultural upbringing. Being on the same page when it comes to raising children can prevent future conflicts and ensure you’re both prepared for this major responsibility. Differences in parenting can create significant family problems, and disagreements here might lead to increased stress in the relationship.
Understand the Importance of Intimacy and Romance
Physical and emotional intimacy are pillars of a healthy marriage. Understand that intimacy will evolve and require effort from both partners to keep it alive. Prioritize spending quality time together, showing affection, and staying emotionally connected. Romantic gestures, shared experiences, and ongoing communication about each other’s needs are essential to keep the spark alive, even when life gets busy. Issues such as sexual dysfunction can emerge, particularly if intimacy is neglected, and it’s essential to discuss any concerns openly.
Embrace Change and Growth
You and your partner will both evolve, and this growth is a natural part of life. Be prepared for personal changes and be open to growing together. Marriage is not about finding a perfect person but about creating a strong partnership through acceptance, understanding, and mutual growth. Embrace the changes in each other with patience and an open heart, as these changes can enrich your relationship. However, it's important to recognize when emotional abuse or controlling behaviours emerge, which may manifest as someone attempting to resist personal growth or enforce unhealthy dependencies.
Seek Support When Needed
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and it’s okay to seek external support when challenges arise. Marriage counselling or speaking with a trusted mentor can provide a fresh perspective, strengthen your communication skills, and help you navigate difficulties together. Seeking help is a sign of strength and commitment to maintaining a healthy, loving relationship. Sometimes, issues such as infidelity, dependence, or divorce can be avoided with the right support, allowing couples to work through their problems and rebuild trust.
Keep the Friendship Alive
Prioritize fun, laughter, and shared interests. Spend time doing things you both enjoy and create memories that strengthen your bond. The friendship you nurture with your partner becomes the bedrock of your marriage, helping you weather tough times and enjoy life’s joys together. Without this foundation, couple conflicts are more likely to arise, and your relationship might suffer irreparably, potentially leading to divorce or breakup.
Conclusion
Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it requires preparation, patience, and mutual effort. Knowing yourself, communicating openly, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing your well-being are essential elements for a fulfilling marriage. When both partners approach marriage with a willingness to grow, adapt, and support each other, it transforms into a rewarding experience that deepens over time.
Taking these insights into marriage can help you navigate the transition with confidence, laying a strong foundation for a partnership that will continue to thrive as you both grow and evolve together.
Contribution:- Find mental health support with Dr. (Prof) R K Suri clinical psychologist and Ms Srishti Jain. Expert Counselling psychologist offering clinical and counseling services near you.
References
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Three Rivers Press.
Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. L. (2010). Fighting for Your Marriage: ADeluxe Revised Edition of the Classic Best-seller for Enhancing Marriage and Preventing Divorce. Jossey-Bass.
Perel, E. (2017). The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. Harper.
Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (1992). Marriage in the 90s: A Nationwide RandomPhone Survey. PREP, Inc.
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