Strategies to Prevent Divorce and Move On
The easiest way to get through a divorce is to stay married.
Divorce can occasionally be unavoidable. The divorce card is the last one you should play, though, if you're still in love and in a committed partnership. The better play is by far saving a marriage, especially if you know how to do it.
Unless you and your partner deliberately make changes to turn things around, when things start to go wrong, they may truly steamroll.
So how can you stay married and prevent divorce?
Here are some tested techniques for doing just that.
1. Take ownership
As a partnership that both of you engaged into with the intention of becoming married, you both agreed to accept responsibility for your conduct. Sometimes, when things go difficult, one partner will find it simpler to place the blame elsewhere than to point the finger of blame at the person they are looking at in the mirror.
When you say "I do" until the marriage dissolves, you are mostly accountable for everything that occurs, both good and terrible. If you are being really honest with yourself, you must acknowledge your contribution to the situation's deterioration. Before you can start to improve things, you just need to stop lying to yourself. You don't have to make yourself suffer for this.
2. Keep calm and pay attention.
There's a reason why we each have two ears and one mouth. In some situations, talking more can sometimes make things worse because it's like pouring fuel to a fire. The flame will go out if the source of combustion is removed, giving you both a moment to gather your thoughts and reconsider how you want to address your issues.
Couples who are enraged or terrified will lash out and often make sure their viewpoint is heard clearly. Sometimes all they want to do is complain because they think it will make them feel better. Allowing your partner to communicate and vocally resolve issues while you listen and pay attention is one technique to resolve conflicts.
Of course, maintaining concentration is crucial.
Being silent and paying attention is one thing; tuning out someone as they are sharing their deepest thoughts and feelings is quite another. When you don't put enough effort into anything, even when you're trying to do the right thing, you end up doing the wrong thing.
And if you're concerned that your voice may be lost in a monologue, don't be. Remember that each word will have more meaning if you use fewer words overall. At some point, you'll have the opportunity to voice your opinion. If not, your marriage might already be over and you might not even be aware of it.
3. Surround yourself with others in wholesome relationships.
You are the people you hang out with. If you or your partners only socialize with divorcés or those in unstable relationships, guess what? You'll be inundated with prejudiced and unfavourable messages about marriage, some of which are angry and purposeful and others which are depressing and unintentional.
Your close friends and happily married family members can encourage you and offer support while serving as role models for how your own marriage can function. You'll observe a successful example from which you can learn. Additionally, you have a better chance of feeling upbeat about marriage in general if you avoid listening to negative commentary.
4. Learn to compromise once more.
When married couples argue, it can easily devolve into a "every man for himself" situation. Why wouldn't you take action to take everything with you if you know that your marriage is on its way out the door? It's a downhill spiral that almost always leads to a poor outcome.
You'll need to compromise more effectively if you want to change the situation. It can also begin with the tiny things (let her have Mexican for dinner if she wants it; you prefer Chinese). The appearance of desperation should eventually start to fade with enough minor sacrifices. You'll discover that being in the middle is a lot more advantageous than being on the street.
When you compromise, will you be completely satisfied? Without a doubt. That's how compromise works. But surely half a loaf of bread is preferable to none at all?
Choose just the things that are truly important to you. Pay attention to what matters most to your partner. Then take turns trading off.
It also won't go unnoticed if you prioritise your spouse's happiness over your own in personal decisions. One of the most important factors in saving your marriage is making the effort to compromise.
5. Seek Counselling.
Some couples find this phase to be simple, while others find it more challenging. Some people find it intimidating to discuss their issues with a stranger, especially if they feel responsible or partly to blame for the marriage's dissolution.
There is a rationale to why so many couples go to Marriage counselling, though. It works in the majority of cases. Counseling is a process and a technique to go through emotional barriers in your marriage that you might not even be aware of. There are actions you take that you are completely unaware of and that your partner despises. You can also take help from the best top psychologist by searching for the Best psychologist near me.
Counseling psychologists can help in highlighting a marriage's unpleasant sides. More importantly, a therapist can help you uncover these things in a non-threatening manner and provide you tips on how to start fixing any potential problems.
Counseling has the drawback that you have to be dedicated to the procedure and prepared to put in the effort. Why even bother going if your mindset is "I'm only doing this unwillingly because my husband is making me."
Therapy can be a surprising experience that aids in giving damaging behaviours names and explanations. Once they have been discovered, it is much simpler to change such behaviours for the better.
Take a step back and think about the financial impact of a divorce if you are hesitant to get counselling because of the expense.
Online couples counselling is a fantastic choice to take into account. Top recommendation for couples therapy is TalktoAngel you can find the Best psychologist delhi or Therapist in delhi . You can choose from thousands of professional therapists with low costs, and connect whenever and wherever it's convenient for you by phone, video chat, or text.
Additionally, you may schedule an appointment with the top professional psychologists and receive Mental health counseling at the Psychowellness Centre, which has many locations in Delhi NCR, NOIDA, Faridabad, Janakpuri, Dwarka, and Vasant Vihar.
Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms. Varshini Nayyar, Psychologist.
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