Why Set Boundaries Within Marriage and Relationships According to Marriage counsellors

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Why Set Boundaries Within Marriage and Relationships According to Marriage counsellors

There is a simple truth about relationships that there are healthy boundaries within healthy relationships. Boundaries exist everywhere. Boundaries don't restrict people or limit them. Boundaries are basically the dividing lines that create awareness. In marriage and relationships, boundaries usually create protection, clarity, and security. It is one of the best ways to show love and avoid some painful consequences.

But any time if you face issues in marriage or relationships do not hesitate in taking marriage counselling. Best psychologist in India recommends couple therapy for solving marriage or relationship issues.

They are providing you with the freedom that you can express your needs and values and side by side respecting the needs and values of your partner also. Marriages are sometimes hard to handle and almost all couples face conflicts with their partners and inlaws at some or other point in time.

According to the best psychologists in India couples who don't create boundaries for themselves have frequent fights and usually end up.

Marriage counsellors say, Creating boundaries is basically:

The remedy for interdependency
It is necessary for the well-being of the individuals
It is a skill that is learned for the success of the relationships
It also gives longevity to the relationship

Boundaries are important in life both personally and in relationships. They are basically the limits as to what behavior is acceptable and what is not acceptable in the relationship. They give us a personal sense of self and individuality so that we are not occupied by others' expectations and demands. It will give you a sense of independence and freedom for yourself and others cannot overwhelm you.

If you are facing challenges with your marriage take marriage counselling in Delhi at Psychowellness center and save your marriage.

A married couple can make boundaries in the common areas like:

The inlaws and family.
The communication between a couple and family.
Money-related matters.
The freedom to make your own decisions and set your own goals.
Homelife: like shared parenting, together time and household work.
Privacy

Why boundaries within relationships by marriage counsellor

Boundaries differentiate between individuals. Boundaries enable a person to know their self-worth and make them recognize their own desires, needs and beliefs. Without boundaries people may create some conflicts. It also helps people manage their anger, anxiety, interdependency and conflicts etc says marriage counsellor Dr.R.K. Suri.

Some people may feel while taking marriage counselling that boundaries are keeping them away from each other but it will unite them and they will be closer in the future. It gives them what is needed i.e. a good and healthy sense of self and healthy communication between them.

Setting healthy boundary

Set clear communication:

For this you have to spend time in your relationships so that you can identify what is important to you. When you have identified your clear boundaries try using clear communication and language to discuss them with your partner. If you are unable to identify clear boundaries take help of marriage counsellor

You can also sit down with your partners to set the values or discuss your existing values, explain to them about your needs and make them agree upon the boundaries which will help you achieve them. But please be sure that these boundaries respect and honor the other person as well.

Setting clear consequences:

Once both the partners have communicated about the boundaries, the next step is to set the consequences to the boundaries created and what will happen if they are not responded and respected in a clear manner.

Let's understand this with example shared by marriage counsellor; if both of you have set boundaries about no shouting in between a conflict and one of the partners has yelled at another, then he / she had to stop the communication and go out for a 30 minute walk and that too alone.

It is essential to follow the consequences of the boundaries set otherwise it will show that you do not respect the boundaries of the other. This will make the other also think of not respecting the boundaries of the other partner.

Taking the responsibility:

Whatever you do or say has a consequence which can be either positive or negative. For example, if you always keep on criticising your partner, the consequence of this may be that your partner may not want to get intimate with you. But when you are speaking without yelling during an argument then your partner may feel secure and intimate connections will be there.

Here taking the responsibility of your mistakes and apologizing for it offers respectful communication and healthy boundaries between the partners. If you cannot control yourself at first go for marriage counselling .

Seeking professional help:

When you think of creating boundaries in your relationship, it is quite hard and thereby seeking professional help from family or marriage counsellor and therapist will help. Sometimes it happens that you start to create big boundaries regarding some serious issues with alcoholism or infidelity or rearing the children, then it will be helpful if you go for professional help.

Marriage counsellor will guide you on the following:

To form the boundaries on which you are respected and your values are confronted.
They will help you to choose the correct communication style so that both the partners can communicate effectively.
They will help you in forming the consequences of the boundaries which you have created.

Pros and cons of setting boundaries after marriage

Pros

Protect marriage
One person cannot manipulate the other
It allows satisfaction
Both will be self responsible for their actions and words
It is enabling self control
Helps in conflict resolution
Helps in problem solving
Helps to set priorities for the individual and for the relationship
Promotes freedom and independence
Promotes security and safety in the relationship

Cons

If the boundaries are not met, it can create anxiety for one or both the partners.
It can also create arguments.
When a person thinks about following some rules, there can be a trigger of stress in them.

Almost all the couples go through difficulties in their marriage. When you set good and healthy boundaries, it will help you to have happiness and wellbeing. Creating healthy boundaries is all about practice especially when you come from a family where boundaries didn't exist or where no one understands what boundaries are.

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